Another weekend

Strange as it sounds, guess where I am again this weekend? Uh huh, Starla and John's. I seem to sense a trend here. Like it here? Whatever gave you that idea?! ~chuckle~ I hadn't even made it home from work before my cell was ringing yesterday evening--and, of course, I had the ringer off. Some instinct told me to check the phone, so there I sat at a red light--what a concept-- a red light in friday afternoon traffic on Memorial Day Weekend ~just shoot me?~ and I pull my phone from my purse, wriggling it free of the straps that are wrapped around my gearshift and unlock the keys, first thing I see is 3 missed calls. ~yay, means someone had called Dani again~ Well, to my surprise, it was STARLA! ~grins~ So, of course, I just *had* to call her back--disregarding my hard and fast rule regarding the cell phone--hang up and drive! To my defense, it was a quick call and I hadn't even made it into 2nd gear before I hung up with her and had our weekend plans made. Wooohooo!! off to Lakeland for the weekend! Woot! Kids pack your stuff--crap--Mike's not home--again--where the HECK does that kid hang out? I swear he disappears like smoke!

Okay, chill out, Miki, no big deal, we can wait for him. We did the big clean up/painting/yardwork thing last weekend--the house is clean, the girls' room actually LOOKS like the girl's room, not the local trash dump, not expecting anyone else to drop in semi-announced--we can run away for the night. 7:30 comes and mom has waited quite long enough--too bad, so sad, Mikey--see ya tomorrow night when we get home, food's in the fridge we're gone. Not my fault you like to hide when you go out so that none of us can find you.

Okay, now that I have proven what a heartless witch I can be, let me remind you of my son's behaviour recently ~low growl~ He may be bigger than me, taller than me and sneaky to boot, but I have the advantage of age, experience and sheer craftiness. Add into the fact that he chose the exact WRONG time to mouth off to me--right when Uncle Pat was standning in the living room--not smart there, bubba-butt. While my brother and I may argue, fuss and fight--he will NOT tolerate a walking ego of a 15 year old boy attempting to bully me on anything, much less smarting back to me. This isn't like telling tales to Uncle Pat when mom didn't do something she was supposed to have done and getting her "in trouble". This is outright disrespect toward his mother and a DEFINITE no-no in Pat's mind. Mike got an immediate, up close and personal attitude adjustment much to his surprise and disgust. Usually Pat's on his side. No pity coming from this arena. This was a well deserved ass chewing and, one of the few times I really wish we didn't live alone and had a better role model for my son. Still, I know where it comes from, even if Mike was too young to remember what daddy was like when we were still together. I can actually now spend small amounts of time with my ex-husband and even welcome him to my home, knowing he is leaving it again in a short while and, I can still get the hell outta Dodge, should the need arise without fear.

Speaking of John, he called the girls tonight (since Mike is still in Tampa) and told them he was planning on coming to visit in July ~just has to laugh~ Florida--in mid July. Too funny, but at least this time when they go to the beach, they can actually go in swimming which they couldn't do when he was down for Christmas. This was apparently a compromise to the kids since he was supposed to bring them home for a couple weeks. ~shrug~ No surprise there. At least now he makes the effort of explaining broken promises and offering compromises. Progress. He's come a long way and, strangely, I am proud of him. ~faints, then blinks my eyes~ OMG in heaven! Did I just say that?!

Anyway, off that topic. Work. Did I mention that I realyl like my new job? The office I am in is wonderful, nice people, awesome work environment and well, I am not doing just the job I was hired for--checking provider info and credentials, etc. Behavioral Health (aka Therapists, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, EdD, Psy D's you name it. Good grief..and all in NY. But it's been fun, aggravating (I really dislike rude people and I don't give a damn what degree you havem buddy, nobody ever died from an excess of courtesy) and a few even had me laughing. But I can also hold my own around the office. If they need help in Claims, I can go over there and work, likewise in Intake (where I actually hope to go after this assignment is completed) and also in the filing department ~eye roll~ I am simply useful all over and I like that feeling. Apparently the manager I am working under likes me, as well as the HR manager, so I have good hopes, although I know better than to expect anything.

I was pleasantly surprised last week. I was working and one of the older ladies came over to my desk with a small arrangement of silk flowers in a tall purple coffee mug and set them up on the edge of the upper cubicle. Green and purple and orange flowers, just because. Just to welcome me to the office and say "hi". Apparently Mary Catherine does this because she enjoys making the flowers. I had noticed them on the other desks, but had not asked about them. Mary Catherine said my desk was too empty and my smile had no obvious reason--it does now. Have I mentioned that they're beautiful? I am not much for silk flowers, I do prefer the live, plantred variety better, but these ones simply warmed my heart. And yes, I also had the not-so-altruistic smirk when I noticed that the other girl I have been working with did NOT get any (and still hasn't to date) and had the audacity to state (loudly) that I did not deserve any flowers and how the heck did *I* rate? This girl isn't known for tact, subtlety or courtesy, either. Hasn't once been on time, has missed several days, talks on her cell during work (after being told the work phone was for precisely that, btw) and leaves early. This is also not a "kid". She's got to be either late 20s to mid 30s and I simply don't understand where she's coming from. ~shrug~ I avoid her--guilt by association doesn't appeal, thanks. I was raised to be polite to everyone or to hold my tongue. Most of the time I succeed. I am a firm believer in "Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt".

~hears Alice Cooper in the back of my mind~ School's out for summer, last day was thursday. God help me, the kids have "nothing" to do--and don't like what I have found for them, either. ~laugh~ does ANY kid like what mom finds for them to do when they're "bored stiff"? I somehow doubt that seriously.

Okay, now my blog has turned into a book, yet again and I have the new Christine Feehan book calling my name--I am already knee deep in it and feel the yearning to dive back in. I shall likely fall asleep reading ~chuckle~ I seem to do that when I am here. Ah, well--better than the alternative, eh? Especially for a chronic insomniac. ~nods~

So, until I get my own internet back on (gimme two weeks) I am outta here, folks!

-Miki

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!
Well, things have been a bit hectic around my place ~soft laugh~ as opposed to...?
But,it was a good weekend for me! I ran away from home!! I left Dani at the house, Stephie's friend invited her for the weekend (they are going to the beach tomorrow and Desiree's mom specifically asked if my mouse could stay with them) and Mike was at hisd friend in Plant City--woohoo!! For the first time in I cannot remember how long, I was childless for two days!

I ran to Starla and John's here in Lakeland ~soft sigh~ I don't know what it is about this place-- I just feel SO relaxed when I come here--like the rest of the world fades away and stress is a non-event. For me, this is Shangri-La. I cannot explain this, it merely *is* and I accept is most gratefully!

I had some good laughs while here. Derek got his new car, although it as yet untitled or registered, since in the state of Florida you can do neither without a driver's license. He has ~lifts my voice just a bit~ How many days, Derek?! "23 days!!" comes the shout back from the boy's room. ~chuckles~ He's champing at the bit and getting "his car" all cleaned and looking *just* the way he wants it, starts it up just to listen to it and spent a lot of time showing me the engine, the interior, the carpet, etc which is all in remarkably good shape! I was suitably impressed, of course and was promised a ride in it just as soon as he can legally drive it. ~grins~ What can I say? The kid loves me--and well, I know full well it's just another excuse to drive it.

Jess has her new car and was put behind the wheel again and is comfortable--had to get her back on that horse, of course. But what I find most amusing--See, Starla and John also have gotten a "new" car this year. All three vehicles are varying shades of green ~ahh, just warms my little heart!~ And--the funny part here--is that none of them have a lot of love for the color green--that's MY thing! They joke about having a "thing for green" and I just laugh.

Yesterday was a great day--took Trigger back to my bro--we were dog sitting for a while and he was soooo happy to be back in our yard! He walked in the front door and straight to the back door--some things never change, eh? But we thought he had tapeworms--so after meds, well, my place was better equipped to deal with possible ramifications of the de-worming stuff (ie the doggy trots) since we have a yard, not just an apartment and kennel. He ate like a pig, we saw no evidence of worms and luckily he tolerated the meds all right. (Thank God! I wasn't looking forward to cleaning up after that, hose or no hose)--anyway--I took him home, spent a few minutes with Pat and Trish, yakkin, told them I was running away from home for the weekend, that I had the kids cared for and saw that they were also kidless, so it must be David's weekend with the kids. They were planning to go bike riding along the Hillsborough river today, wished me a Happy Mother's Day, Trish had it returned to her, hugs and kisses,the whole 9 yards--walked out of their apartment, just in time for the ice cream man ~oh joy~ and Pat, turkey that he is, completely disregarded my diet and got me this HUGE bomb pop (the older folks will understand I mean what Popsicle now calls a rocket pop) ~drools~ Only my most favorite frozen confection on the face of the planet!! I guess he loves me in his own convoluted way ~sheepish lil grin~ But then I had to eat that as I drove--um--I drive a stick, not an automatic, add to that late friday traffic and stop and go--THEN hit the freeway and I-75 is a PITA on fridays! I hit I-4 at exactly 7pm and suddenly, voila!! No traffic! wooohooo!! let them ponies run! Put my foot down and Lakeland here I come! Well, until I hit Memorial ~frumps~ slow people need to learn that speed limits are NOT just a suggestion, okay?! If it SAYS 55, then you can actually GO 55 safely--doing 35 in a 55 will only tick off those of us behind you and yes, you WILL get pulled over for obstructing traffic, lady, so yelling at the cop is an effort in futility. ~eye roll~

Anyway, this will likely be kinda long--I am offline at home for the time being--I have other priorities, at the moment, but I will be back soon--just gimme a couple of weeks.

OH!!! I have a new job!! ~does the Happy Snoopy Dance~ Yesssssss! It's a bit of a drive, right? Down on Dale Mabre off of Fletcher, for those of you that know the Tampa area. Not a heck of a commute from Temple Terrace, but still ~frown~ I really dislike traffic. Still the pay is good enough to warrent the drive and hey, this time I am not working across the bay! The company looks really good and they seem to like me, so that's a plus. I came in early to help them do filing, since they were coming up on an audit (I want to choke whomever was the file clerk before I got hold of them) and there was a lot of re-arranging, collating and actual filing to be done. Not hard, just time consuming. What part of "medical documents do NOT go in the personnel file" did they not understand? They each have a medical file AND a personnel file--never the twain shall meet. I learned that at BCBS of NM when I adminned for the CS and Claims Depts. for FEP, (and Tri-Care is a PITA to work with FYI) I guess at least that gave me an edge since I already knew the difference between what was medical and what was personnel. I mean, it's not rocket science.

Anyway, I am at Starla and John's. I am enjoying myself immensely and slept like a rock last night! It's kinda funny, but I actually fell asleep channel surfing towards USA network looking for my addiciton (SVU) and Starla got up sometime around 3am and turned the TV off--I didn't even notice. Err, did I mention I am usually a very light sleeper? Learned habit, but one I cannot seem to break--unless I am here ~wry grin~ I guess that, in itself, shows the level of comfort, relaxation and safety I feel here.

Anyway, we got up early today, had coffee out at the pond, watched the koi (WE HAVE BABIES!!!) and then did some weeding, etc while John worked in the shop, then came in, made breakfast for us all, cleaned up afterward (again John was in the shop) then cleaned house and the shop so the tracking of sawdust would be lessened. Then I was drug out to ooh and ahh over Derek's car, did more than a bit of chuckling at Starla and was promised payback when (and if) I find a dominant that thinks he can control my waywardness. ~soft laugh~ Yeah right. I am headstrong, opinionated, but--strangely enough, craving that bit of control. I KNOW i am impulsive, i KNOW I procrastinate, etc--that's just me. I also have a lot of "likes" that I simply cannot do for myself. I know I love to make other people happy, will bend over backward to avoid making waves, absolutely *hate* yelling or directed anger--I have issues there-- and well..~look of chagrin~ I also like to be tied up, among other things. I am not a masochist, per se. I am not into pain for the sake of pain--that isn't me. I don't like that. Now, sensual pain is another thing, completely. When I get into that zone... ~sappy grin~ I guess the term "happy camper" is superfluous?
I watch John tease Starla, see him "in a mood" or tiptoe around when Starla argues back after a decided "NO" and quickly absent myself. (what, you think he's gonna take the single tail to YOUR ass, Miki? NOT) I could not do much of what they do--then again, I have not lived with John for 5 years, either. Starla and I have spoken about some of it in depth and, much of what they do now was a firm "not while I draw breath" five years ago. I understand that, accept that. However, that said--I honestly do not think I could do much of it. It just makes my "ick factor" go nuts, yanno? Okay, Shibari--ohboyohboy-- mummification (saran wrap is fun) so long as my nose AND mouth are free? I can deal with that--been there, done that--just another type of bondage, really. Canes, singletails, crops? err..i dunno ~waggles my hand back and forth~ I think that would be more of a "we'll see" Hands are great and dandy--paddles aren't *that* bad depending on make and mode of employment. Floggers are fun--so long as you warm up first and don't be thinking you're using sharkskin on me--newsflash--damage is not part of the equation---ever. Blood play is a hard, "not while I draw breath" limit. Don't even consider pushing that one, same with scat. (hence my comments earlier) If it belongs in a toilet--errrr, use the porcelain throne in the washroom, thanks. I know folks do that and I understand they like it. More power to ya! It isn't my thing. I have simple tastes, am easy to please ~chuckle, no pun intended~

Anyway, I keep fallin' off onto other tangents, don't I? Thus the reason for entitling my blog "Scattered Thoughts" I was talking about today, wasn't I? ~scrolls back~ Yes, I was! So, we have the house cleaned, John has a bondage box completed (They run a business making gear of all sorts, so a shameless plug for their business site) for an order from www.bdsmgear.com and I will personally guarantee that they use wonderful quality materials and items are hand made, unless otherwise stated. I love to sit in the shop and watch John work. Of course, the scent of leather will call to me like a siren song. ~grin~ I have a thing about the scent of leather.

Okay, here we go again; caught it that time before it got too far off track. Anyway, we have our work done and we decide to go to Wal-Mart--Derek decides to go with us. The girl-child (aka Jess) is already long since gone to a friend's and so the four of us pile into the car and off we go. Get to Wal-Mart and John and Derek desert us. Do they assume we're stupid? I doubt it, but off they go and Starla and I wander a bit looking at stuff..i loathe shopping, but when I am not actively shopping(meaning I am along for the ride), I stop and look at anything that catches my eye--drives Starla nuts! Anyway, after about a half hour or so, they guys rejoin us, we finish shopping, Derek got a new jack for his car, a few groceries, yadd yadda--typical Wallyworld stop, just long and tiring. We get home, we are not allowed to help carry anything in--okay, nothing too unusual there--we normally don't help lift or carry--that's not our job, the "boys" will do that--occasionally we're allowed to help. Today, Starla and I are tired. See, Starla has MS and this trip wore her out, her supply of spoons for the day is low and I am still on the tail end of a porphyria flare, which enrages me, since I like to forget that I even have it, much less that I am actually sick. Anyway, we put away the groceries and I pretend I didn't see John smuggle the wrapping paper from the bedroom, nor do I mention it to Starla, who did NOT see the smuggle and then here comes the boy-child bearing a neatly wrapped box.

A doggy, looking much like her Bella-dog. In resin with a solar-powered light hanging from its mouth! How CUTE!!! Well, Starla unwrapped (obviously, Miki, since you can describe it, huh?) and she tells Derek to go put it outside so it can get a charge and she can decide on its placement later. Off he goes, only to come back a few minutes later (John has been absent during this time, mind you) and wants mum to "come see if you like where I put the dog, mum!" Starla" Oh, Derek, I'm tired--I will look later" Derek: "But mum, I want it to have a full charge, please come see if I chose a good place?" ~puts on the charming, 'you know you love me, mum' smile and tilts his head~ Starla" Oh, all right Derek, let's go see" (this is nothing unusual for this family, although MY radar was pinging off the scales) We get up, my legs hurt, i KNOW Starla's legs hurt but we go out into the mudroom, put our shoes BACK on, then Derek opens the front door and Starla steps out "Somebody LIED!!!" she exclaims as she sees the brand-spanking new rocker settee on the front porch. ~grins~ they love her so much--it literally warms my heart.

Anyway, I think I am going to close this book for a while and will attempt to get back to it, soon. It's getting late here and well, everyone else, save Derek is off to sleepyland--I do believe that it is now my turn to find the land of Morpheus.

Did I mention how much I love it here? How I am so happy to have the friends I have? I wonder if they know just how much I do love them? I hope I tell them often enough. I love you. Three small words--with SUCH a wealth of meaning.

Starla, if you read this, I love you--and i am grateful every day that you choose to spend some of your "spoons" on me. You mean the world to me. ~hugs and a nuzzle~

-Miki